Sex isn’t the first thing people associate with the actual childbirth and care process. However, the idea of having sex (or having to give it up) after having a kid is inevitable.
Unfortunately, childbirth is a complicated and often traumatizing process, and mothers often want nothing to do with it for a while, scaring fathers. Even the large amount of women who don’t really let childbirth kill their sex drive tend to be scared of the possible consequences of doing it.
Luckily, sex after pregnancy exists. Sure, it might (and should) not be right after the baby is born, but there’s no reason to believe you’ll never find better sex after childbirth.
How much should you wait after giving birth?
This is the most common question by a mile. Hormonal changes after delivering your baby changes your vaginal tissue; it becomes thinner and, thus, more sensitive. You also need to wait until your vagina, cervix, and uterus return to their normal size.
Therefore, your body would prefer if you waited for a bit after childbirth.
There’s not a specific timeline, though. While most doctors will tell you to wait between 4 and 6 weeks, this is more of a general recommendation instead of an actual requirement.
Still, you should wait for your doctor to give you the green light before resuming your sex life. Even then, it’s best to take it patiently.
After being physically able to have sex, you still want to get used to all the responsibilities brought by a new family member if you want better sex after childbirth.
Finally, if any tears or cuts were involved during delivery, it’s a stronger reason to wait for your doctor to confirm it’s OK to return to sex.
How can childbirth change sex?
It’s an understatement, but having a child changes sex for everyone, not just women (although they take the biggest hit).
Hormone changes after childbirth can make your vagina dry and more sensitive, which increases with breastfeeding. You can also experience pain if you’re recovering from cuts and tears.
Contrary to assumptions, the most common cause of discomfort is due to the low estrogen levels. Even c-section patients are likely to go through this due to breastfeeding, which essentially works like a minor menopause.
One of the possible reasons of painful sex after childbirth is that your vaginal tissues become a lot more sensitive. This also translates into sex feeling different than how it was before.
Additionally, you’ll feel that what “feels good” about sex probably changed after having your baby. For example, if you previously orgasmed through your G-spot, you might now discover that you like clitoral stimulation more.
Others feel that, while breastfeeding, your breasts and nipples aren’t as important as they were before childbirth.
Estrogen and progesterone take a vital part during your baby’s development while you’re pregnant. Their levels skyrocket during pregnancy and face a huge fall as they normalize, and this might result in a lack of sex drive for weeks.
While the regular waiting time is 6 weeks, many women can take up to 6 months before resuming their sex lives. Breastfeeding also makes your libido slower to return.
Finally, both men and women will see their libido take a hit because of all of their new responsibilities and resulting fatigue.
Pregnancy and delivery affect the muscles in your pelvic floor, which support your bladder, uterus, rectum, and small intestine. The best way to unmake these changes is through Kegel exercises or pilates.
This type of workout targets your core and pelvic floor and can even help your uterus and vagina go back to how they were before.
It might feel better
Since giving birth brings new sensations and likes, many people find better sex after childbirth. The changes suffered by the internal parts in women can also make certain positions and angles feel a lot better.
In the end, discovering how sex is different can be a fun and bonding journey, and many find it’s even better than it was before.
Hormones and childbirth
Hormones are vital when recovering and returning to a normal sex life.
Right after giving birth, your estrogen levels fall back to how they were before your pregnancy. If you’re breastfeeding, they might drop even further. Estrogen takes care of vaginal lubrication, as you probably already know.
However, it’s worth noting that your sex drive and hormone levels don’t dip below how they were before your pregnancy. People believe they do, but it’s just because of the gigantic increase caused by pregnancy,
Dealing with body image
A woman’s body goes through huge changes during pregnancy and all the way to childbirth. Getting used to these changes emotionally will take quite some time.
Many new mothers wonder whether they’re going to feel attractive again, and struggling with body confidence is common after delivering a baby. Therefore, it’s a normal process, but women might even feel like it’s not their body due to the baby’s dependency.
Firstly, you should remember you’re not the only one who goes (or is going) through this. Even the “hottest” celebrities have problems with their bodies after having a baby, even with all the training and nutrition regimes they’re subjected to.
You also want not to rush your adaptation, so take this time to open up with your significant other and build intimacy through other means before resuming your regular sex life.
As always, not every woman will go through this process, and some might even feel better about their physique after having a baby.
Breastfeeding and sex
We’ve mentioned it, but breastfeeding takes your body into a state really similar to menopause; the only difference is that you can get pregnant. It’s usually during the first 6 months, and the largest symptom of this period is extreme dryness on women’s vaginas.
If you still feel sexual desire, using lubricant or estrogen supplements becomes a necessity. Most women decide to simply “wait it out”.
Birth control after childbirth
If you’re breastfeeding exclusively, and you’re sitting on the first 6 months, then breastfeeding alone might offer up to 98% protection, but its effectiveness varies between women.
Doctors recommend you wait for 18 months minimum (all the way to 24) before having another child after your current birth; otherwise, you’re risking pregnancy complications and similar problems.
Using both progestin and estrogen birth control, like combining pills, can cause blood clots after your delivery. Healthier women shouldn’t see any issues after the first month. However, combined methods are thought to diminish milk supply.
Pregnancy after the first year
It’s not a good idea to become pregnant just after a year, as you’re exposing both you and your baby to a higher risk of birth defects or premature birth.
If you plan on having another baby, always ask your doctor all the relevant questions, and after childbirth, make sure to pay regular visits to determine how your body is doing and whether it’s ready for a second pregnancy.
How to get better sex after childbirth?
Here are a few tips that we are sure will help you get more fun in the bed.
Kegel exercises help you strengthen your pelvic muscles, reshaping and helping your entire pelvic area to recover faster.
These exercises have always been a staple for people looking to generally improve their sex lives, and it’s one of the best ways to find better sex after childbirth. Besides, they help with other issues like incontinence that might be killing your libido.
You want to give enough time for your vagina to be ready before engaging in penetration sex; this includes producing its own lubrication again.
You can use this time to reinforce intimacy through new means, including foreplay, masturbation, and other activities that might help keep your urges in check before going back to your regular sex life.
This is especially necessary if you want to perform sexually during your first months. Your estrogen levels are probably at their minimum, and this is what results in the painful sex reported by women after childbirth.
When using lubricants, stick to those based on water. Using oil lubes damages condoms, but they also irritate tissue that’s over-sensitive, and that’s the description of your vaginal tissue after delivering.
You want to wait as long as your doctor recommends if you don’t want to mess up your recovery. However, even after your doctor gives you the green light, you should still take things slowly.
Remember that your doctor might confirm when your body is physically ready, but better sex after childbirth requires more than just physical availability. You want to work on your comfort, body image, intimacy, and the new schedule now that you have a baby and new responsibilities.
You want to be as open with your partner as possible. Chances are that you’re probably already open enough since you decided to have a baby. However, you might have a plethora of new thoughts and insecurities, and you can’t avoid telling them to your partner.
Besides, spontaneity is mostly not possible, so you want to make time together so that you aren’t rushing anything.
Finally, sex will feel different after delivery, so you want to keep your partner updated on what you like now and what you don’t. They won’t know what’s different, so it’s your responsibility to let him know.
Use Natural Aphrodisiacs
Products like the Spanish Fly Pro can help you increase the libido levels in the body, and get better sex drive. You will also experience natural vaginal lubrication, which means that you won’t feel the pain when having sex. Lubrication, as we talked about above, is what you need for the first few months, and you wouldn’t want to depend on ‘chemically-made’ products. With no side effects, Spanish Fly Pro offers you the sexual energy you need in your relationship – especially after childbirth.
Have some questions? We have got the answers for you.
Does sex hurt after having a baby?
Most of the time, yes. Your estrogen levels drop significantly, this causes dryness. If you’re breastfeeding, this becomes more significant, as you’re put through a menopause-like stage.
However, childbirth itself doesn’t make having sex painful. It’s the hormone changes that are the culprit.
Can you have sex 2 weeks after giving birth?
There’s nothing stopping you from doing it, and you can do it if you so wish. Still, you need to keep in mind that your vagina just went through a lot of change, and if you don’t let it recover enough, you’re risking harming it further.
In fact, the first 2 weeks are when complication chances are higher. Most health providers will recommend you wait about 6 weeks after delivering, no matter the method.
Finally, if you want to make sex as pleasurable as possible, you’ll probably want to wait a lot more than 6 weeks.
How can I satisfy my husband after having a baby?
You can have sex with your husband a few months after delivering, but make sure to always consult your doctor before any harsh decision.
If you want to engage intimately with him as soon as you get home, there are still things you can do. Your body has no issues with non-penetrative sex, so you can try a lot of things until your body is ready. Just make sure to set aside some time when both of you are available.
Does sex feel the same after birth?
It rarely does.
Luckily, this isn’t a bad thing. More often than not, women discover they don’t like the same things, but they realize there are new sensations and likes that they never experienced before and that can mean that sex becomes more interesting.
- Birth trauma (emotional) | https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/birth-trauma-emotional
- Contraception and breastfeeding | https://www.breastfeeding.ie/uploads/files/factsheet18.pdf
- Patient education: Vaginal dryness (Beyond the Basics) | https://www.uptodate.com/contents/vaginal-dryness-beyond-the-basics
- Pelvic Floor Muscle Training During Pregnancy and After Delivery | https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228347010_Pelvic_Floor_Muscle_Training_During_Pregnancy_and_After_Delivery
- Sexual Changes During and After Pregnancy | https://nursing.ceconnection.com/ovidfiles/00000446-201008000-00031.pdf
- The Relationship Between Mode of Delivery and Sexual Health Outcomes after Childbirth | https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274725131_The_Relationship_Between_Mode_of_Delivery_and_Sexual_Health_Outcomes_after_Childbirth
- Your recovery after childbirth | https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/leaflets/files/4895Pchildbirth.pdf